an old armadillo reading on an old translation of so glyphs left at a front door of what looks like a official door enterance.

prensents a point of lost chaos of the

Subject: Lubbock

To all past, present and future Lubbockites (or to those who wish you
were from here, or to those who have been transplanted here, or to those
who know someone from here....) --here is something for your careful
consideration.

1. Lubbock has many houses of worship. The two biggest are Jones
Stadium (football) and the United Spirit Arena (basketball).

2. Lubbock has an annual event called "A Taste of Lubbock". This is not
to be confused with the event during dust storm season, which is called "A Taste of Lubbock Landscape".

3. Lubbock is tolerant of people of all sexes, temperaments, age, creed, color and sexual orientation, just as long as you are a good coach.

4. Lubbock's idea of prohibition is to put all of the package liquor
stores just outside of city limits; 'cause, Lord knows, a fat guy wouldn't
cross the room for a donut and a Tech student won't drive a mile for a
beer!

5. The two biggest sports in the fall are Tech Football games and
drunken brawls after Tech Football games.

6. Lubbock has some type of ten-year cycle of weirdness.

In the 70's tornadoes hit. In the 80's the Virgin Mary was expected to
appear.

In the 90's an earthquake shook Lubbock.


In 2002 a Tech Professor lied about destroying viruses that could wipe
out a big chunk of the population. Psychics predict that cycle will
continue into 2011 when a Lubbock driver will actually use a turn signal or stop at a red light!

7. The two hardest things to find in Lubbock are bad barbecue and a
parking space anywhere near Tech.

8. The Lubbock newspaper publishes a daily prayer on the front page.
It's very appropriate because there isn't a prayer of finding anything
interesting on the other pages.

9. Lubbock finally got the funds for an east-west freeway and promptly
named it after a basketball coach. Evidently that shuttle mission commanded by a Texas Tech Alumnus wasn't quite as dangerous as facing the UT Longhorns in an away game.

10. It's true all traffic directions start with "get on the Loop" and
end with "get off the loop". They don't mention the middle part of "if you
surve the Loop".

11. It took a full 30 years or more before Lubbock forgave Buddy Holly
for being such a heathen rock and roller and honored him with a museum. It will be twice that long before we even claim Natalie Maines.

12. Lubbock has a somewhat successful minor league hockey franchise
and their popularity has nothing to do with the fact that it's the only
sporting event in Lubbock where you can drink beer (really, we swear!).

13. After a Tech victory against A&M, the Aggies responded by beating
EACH OTHER up

14. No matter when you read this, today, ten years from now, or even if
it was found in an archeological dig, one fact about Lubbock will not have changed. The Loop will still be under construction.


15. Lubbock has the best, friendliest people in the world because, as you can tell from the above list, all we really have is each other.